The end of chaos.

It is dark, I'm snuggled up and cozy when my alarm rudely interrupted my sleep. I stumble to the coffee maker and prepare the coffee, then make rounds to be sure the kids are awake. As usual, H is sprawled out on his bed, but will probably be ready in time to leave for the bus stop. Next, A is up, dressed, and organizing her backpack with needed homework, books, pencils, but upset due to bullying at school. The little guy was in elementary school and rode a later bus; the older 3 had to be at the bus stop each morning by 640. My biggest problem each morning back in those days was T. Hubby had to leave for work early so getting our kids up and delivered to the school bus was part of my morning routine. T often simply refused to remove his butt from his bed, I tried everything: threats, punishment, rewards, ice water. Yes, I once threw ice water on him. I once put him on the bus in his pajamas. I once let him stay home and clean. Every morning, I struggled to get the kids up, ready, papers signed, socks found, breakfast served, lunches made, spelling words studied, straighten the house, and on and on. After the yellow bus rolled away, I repeated the routine, putting the youngest on the bus, driving to work until early afternoon when I arrived home from a 45 min ride filled with calls to teachers, doctors, friends parents to confirm a sleepover, and on and on, just as the bus dropped off the older kids and our neighbor who stayed with us until his dad arrived home. We then tackled the rest of our day. Homework was promptly completed by one, ignored often by the others until I dig through backpacks, finding more for us all to do. Dinner, baths, more homework, too much housework, baseball practice, twirling and lost library books, check ups, teacher conferences and referrals and a missed ortho appointment, hubby working late and the dog chewed up a shoe and WHY IS THERE A MOUSE IN A SHOEBOX IN YOUR CLOSET? Give it back to your friend, please, and go to sleep so we can get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

Why? Because isn't that just life? Struggle through the week so we can spend the weekend recovering and cleaning. Right? Everyone does it. Drag through Monday, cheer for humpday, celebrating Friday. Right?

Not anymore. Never again.

These days, T is in welding school and is up, dressed and gone by 7am, if I'm up I wish him a good day, thrilled that he's finally excited to get up and learn. We added one last kid. He will never know the joy of fighting on a rainy, dark morning as we rush to catch the bus. He won't ever plop down in a desk, one student of thirty, to complete his busy work as the teacher deals with 24 students in need of attention. He won't dread learning and he won't struggle to understand certain behaviors he will be exposed to by peers in his classroom. Behaviors he struggles to understand and actions he knows are wrong, words he suspects are wrong but doesn't ask about, just curiosities that bounce around in his head. No drills to prepare for armed intruders, no cold, tasteless lunch.

Today, as with most of our days, will play out something like this:
I woke at 6, and stumble to the coffee. Hey, some things never change.
I catch up on the news, read a bit, check out a place for an upcoming field trip. I chat with T as he leaves for school. Cajer stumbles out to the couch for some lazy loving and excitement that it's Wednesday, he has art co-op today, his favorite day! I will fix breakfast- maybe cereal, but most often fresh eggs from the back yard. Hubby now works 24s and is at work until this evening. We will go to the library and if it's not raining we will meet up with friends at the playground for lunch. Our days are cozy, we go to sleep when we are tired, wake up when we wake up. Cajer plays outside, building forts, riding his mower, we work in our garden and greenhouse, we clean house together and decide on fun field trips. Back in November he decided learning about Indians was great, so we are still learning and loving it. I get along fairly well with myself, so parent teacher conferences tend to go well. We often play in the creek for science, explore the fort for history, counting rocks as he throws them in the river for math. We cook together, I have much more patience for such things!

Looking back, life was rushed. Why do so many people rush, rush, rush... race to Friday, blast through the weekend and drag into Monday.

No thanks. I'm enjoying life. We have very happily taken over the responsibility of educating our youngest. T hated getting up to go sit in a desk and listen to what his teacher was told to teach him. H was like a size 15 boot in a size 5 shoe box, itching to be released so he could get home and learn what he wanted to learn. Not Cajer. He is excited to wake each day, and decide what to learn each day. Lately it's adding, subtracting, writing letters, counting syllables, volcanoes and dinosaurs.

Life is too short to wallow in stress about how we will survive each day.
Sure, I still have people to see, places to go, meals to be made, dishes, laundry and muddy boys to bathe. But I feel like more of a FAMILY.

Life used to be a cold, quick shower, with a quick scrub to get the job done. Now it's a lazy, warm, sudsy bubble bath. And I like it. My family does, too.

Full blown learning...

I'm quite confident in my parenting, I've made plenty of mistakes, sure. My very first parenting mistake happened on April 7, 1993. I was a single, sixteen year old, living with my parents and putting a healthy future together for the baby within my womb... I was due later in the month, fearing the pain of delivery. Ha! Silly first timer, I had no idea labor and delivery was the easy part. So, there I am at my obstetrician office, they were concerned- pre-eclampsia was taking hold. Not knowing the details, in a world where the internet was just getting a grip, I was too exhausted to haul myself and my belly to the library. I obediently did as I was told, I picked up a prescription and went home to bed rest. The next thing I remember is my mom asking for details about my appointment, I was groggy and filled her in... she realized I'd been prescribed sleeping pills. I was sleepy and horrified, I'd just given my tiny perfect baby a sleeping pill! Mom took the next day off to go back to my appointment the following morning. I asked the midwife why I was given sleeping pills. To this day, her reply pisses me off. She said since I was only 16, I couldn't possibly understand the danger that I was in, that my unborn baby was in, and since I was likely to ignore bed rest requirements she figured she'd just knock me out. Never mind the fact that I'd attended every appointment, and had spent the previous nine months doing everything possible to ensure a healthy baby. (I was induced that day...!)

Umm. No. That one sentence has shaped much of my approach to parenting. Basically, I will trust nobody blindly. I was young, that can't be debated. However, I was filled with a desire to provide this baby with the best- I had every intention of going straight home and would not move again until my appointment the next day. That was 22 years ago and that was the last time any of my kids were given a medicine without me researching it.

They say it takes a village, I agree. I am the only person in that village that loves my children beyond words, nobody is as fiercely in love with those kids as I am. (Of course daddy, but I'm thinking back to that situation where it was only me and my baby.) I love village assistance, but it will be preapproved.

I might be rambling, sorry. My blog is in no way one of those organized, beautifully created blogs. But here it is.

So, the village. I'm getting there, promise. I do have a point.

I love to see my kids experience life. That is part of the joy I find in homeschool, I get to experience life with him, it's no longer me trying to find out what they did at school that day, it's us experiencing life and learning together.

The other day I posted a picture on Facebook. Hubby, Cajer and I were running errands and stopped by the transmission shop to check on our truck. Cajer wanted to look around so we were... I snapped a pic of... well, here, look:

I didn't think much of it, we carried on with our errands. A friend commented that she'd never let her boys stand there. (Side note: this friend is great- I tend to only keep Facebook friends who I know and like!) I was caught off guard, why on earth would she not allow her boys this view? She wasn't the only one to voice this opinion. And I love when friends respectfully chime in, as I'm all about reevaluating my decisions as a momma. So, for further input, I posted the picture in 2 homeschool groups I'm a member of on Facebook. Umm, wow. 

Group 1 is a happy, go with the flow, child led learning group. Most people agreed that they'd allow their kid to explore from this angle, providing it was a safe situation. 

Group 2 is a huge group with many, many strong opinions. Overall, opinions were split roughly 50/50. Some people virtually high fived me for allowing him to enjoy a fun experience. The other people are quite likely googling me still, in an attempt to notify DCF and have my child removed from me. Yeah, the post ended up being shut down, it got rather heated. 

I love to see my kids learn, I LOVE to provide exposure to the world, assuming it's a safe situation, a safe environment. I do not see the harm in allowing him to view the truck from this angle. Two mechanics and his daddy, who was a mechanic for many years, were within feet of him. He spent approximately 20 seconds looking at the truck before he went to examine everything else before we left. 

He would have been safest had he remained buckled up. But come on! He wants to see the world. Hear it, smell it, feel it. That is contributing to his life, allowing freedom to learn. What would he have learned sitting in a seat? 

On that note, I guess that's why I love homeschooling. Because really, how much can anyone learn while sitting still in a seat? 

Here is my oldest. He was also given freedom to learn... at this point, momma isn't by his side, but I have to trust that his guardian angels don't mind the overtime. He has years of experience to guide him, I believe that those experiences (the good and bad!) help him throughout his days. Some kids learn from reading about gravity as they remain seated. I've got some like that. On the other hand, my first born and last born require real life experience to learn. An effective lesson on gravity for those two boys looks something like this, followed by a splash and the cold, refreshing water of the river. Personally, I do ok learning via book, but these two boys have taught me so much about life and LIVING it. 

It's beginning to look a lot like springtime!

I love springtime! We spent a good chunk of our Sunday morning planting herb seeds. And sunflowers are so easy to grow; We do those each year. Soak them in water for a day or three and you'll find that many will sprout. Cajer loves to pry them open for full examination of the seed and sprout and roots. We labeled each starter pot so we know what was planted in each one- we've got spelling and science covered today! And a bit of geography since we discussed how Apple trees, among other foods, grow better in a cooler climate and we discussed how bananas and mangoes and grapes grow better south of us.

I love outside lessons. 

A Day In The Life

.... of an unschooling four year old.

Cajer woke up around 830, and attempted to lounge around on the couch, but I had a doctor's appointment and a few errands to run. He dressed himself right down to shoes and socks, and got a bowl of cereal while I got ready.

We stopped and got him a honeybun only to.have him drop it. Devastation. Screaming, crying. End of the world. They dropped me off and went to get Chick Fil A, yum! After my appointment we went to Publix, Cajer was happy to show his daddy how to shop; usually that is something he and I do. Cajer has discovered Red Box, and is fairly put out with me for not renting a movie but he has not yet given me a reason I should pay for a movie he can watch on Netflix... ahh, a lesson. Life can be sneaky like that.

Next up we went to pay a bill near the football stadium- so much to see!We watched people playing soccer, frisbee and jogging. A blue and white plane was flying in circles, a police car went screaming by. We went to the repair shop where two older gentlemen were pleased to take a break and watch Cajer's excitement and awe...

 After that we went to his brother's school. My oldest boy finished the welding program and my next in line is currently in school. Cajer got to see where the school is, where his brother parks, and he peeked under booths trying to find his brothers shoes- he was sure he found them and I'm still giggling when the black guy popped out and surprised him!

On the way home we stopped for ice cream, we made peach cobbler to go along with supper and of course ice cream is necessary! Finally we stopped for hog and chicken feed, Cajer politely asked the guy at Ace if he could ride on the dolly, too. But he jumped off when he realized I was picking out seeds. We picked herbs and sunflowers, we can't wait to plant them. He randomly blurted out that two fingers and two fingers made four fingers, so we had an impromptu math lesson and he was adding quite well! 

Finally home, here he is playing me a song on our thrift store guitar. $2 and I can't wait to take him to music lessons, he loves it! 

 After watching tv with daddy for a few minutes he went outside to ride his new mower. 

We have a bit of land and he is so excited to drive this mower. He can even start it now! He (finally) tired of driving, I suspect that the scratch on his face has something to do with his sudden anger at the mower. 

It's 430 and he is shooting bears in the yard, well, he claims they are bears. They look suspiciously like chickens to me... 

Usually around this time of day he will get into his classroom and create a masterpiece with all of his art supplies. But after such a busy day he might just want to chill out. And that's fine with me, he's learned exactly what I wanted him to learn for the day. 

School lessons.

Someone said to me, "I'd love to homeschool, I just don't have the stuff I need to teach him."

Yes, you do. Especially if you choose to unschool. Cajer had great fun exploring on our walk... pretending to be King Cajer of the Ants!

I love getting books from the thrift store, here is a $2 load of books:

We've been known to lay on a blanket in the woods and read...

The park is always fun!

And we love to explore fun places: 

The earth is a phenomenal classroom. People in our lives are far more interesting and educational than forced association with same age people in a room all day. 

Hello free museum! 

Cardboard, pipe cleaners and pasta. You can do this! 

And oh wow, if your littles like worksheets just Google. There are even FREE full curriculums online! 

unschool?

I'm creating this post quite simply because I wish I'd known about unschool years ago. And I'm sick, on my couch. So.
 I do now, and when we know better, we do better. No cockiness intended. Really. I just feel sorry for putting my older kids in school. Sorta. It's part of my living and learning. And that, my friends, is unschool. Live and learn. And love. That is life. If you can manage all three l's, you're set for life.

Once upon a time, I had two kids. Boy was 5, off to kindergarten after being home with mommy. Girl goes off to kindergarten. Eventually the kids get a step brother, who is in first grade, and their little brother also goes off to kindergarten. See? We obeyed.

Four kids. Three different schools. Twirling, after school tutoring, broken arm, leg, foot, baseball, ballet, football, cheer, ortho, scuba, horse camp, asthma, camping, vacay, holidays and the  skate park, spend the nights, the ex, his ex, custody, summer camp, we need groceries, dogs barking, bills, permission slips, teacher conferences, band practice, your teacher called, whatdoyoumeanourboycathadakitten, field trips, a fever, a rash, a ride here, there, everywhere and the bus is late so we're late to the check up and ohshit what's for supper, a project due WHEN?!

No. Why teach our children that chaos is life when it doesn't have to be?

We sorta landed here, to be honest. The freedom. Hubby and I worked, he worked full time, I worked part time. Ya know, what society teaches, yay for humpday, Friday, the weekend. Now he's a firefighter, 24/48's. Due to health/disabilty issues, I'm unable to work. Yeah, like Cajer isn't work. Ha. ;-) Yes you can live happily on one income. It's all about priorities.

Last night, Cajer wanted his daddy to.build a cave. So we learned about caves. We live near Wakulla Springs, we learned about underwater caves, and Mariana Caverns, and he decided daddy could build him a bunker type fort instead. Stay tuned!

To me, unschool is freedom. Freedom from expectations created by legislation. Freedom to learn on Saturday night or Wednesday morning. Freedom to learn how to count when it becomes necessary. Freedom to learn a new language or play the guitar. All of these things are needed. So why shove certain topics down my child's throat? Freedom to teach my child what I feel he should know. Like, his rights as an American, how he got those rights. How he can defend those rights. Where his food comes from, how God intended him to live.

The S Word

It never fails... the conversation usually starts something like this:

Random person: oh, you're 4! Are you excited to start big kid school next year?!

Cajer: (strange look) I learn all the time!

Me: we homeschool!

Random person: *gasp* but how will he ever be socialized?!

Blah, blah, blah. This is so not a concern of homeschool parents, not at all. I probably speak for most when I say I have to pick and choose activities and skip some to make sure we have plenty of down time.
I think that it's just a generational thing, most younger parents seem to accept it as simply another option. I chatted with a young mom the other day who was asking me about homeschool options in Florida; she said she and her husband felt strongly that their children not be exposed to public schools. They both want to raise their children without the insanity that public schools have become.

So, how do homeschool kids learn to interact with people? Let's see. I'll start close, family interactions are the foundation for how we learn to interact. Every family member from great grandparents to a new born sibling or cousin teaches children interaction. Personally, I like that Cajer will learn from such a great range of people, he interacts great with grandparents as well as with friends at co-op or his baby niece.

 

And oh how many people we see in a week. Everyone from the mailman to the doctor, UPS driver, people in traffic, his brothers friends, the neighbors, family friends, people on field trips, and on and on. 

Exposure to life is how we learn. 

I want to prevent exposure to certain things while possible. Would you allow your six year old to hang out all day with stories of parents in jail, this boy wets his pants and has bruises, this girl cries in class, and this boy says bad words and talks about sex... and each year brings new situations that need to be addressed at home to provide your child with the ability to understand and deal with every other child's problems. While attempting to learn what he's told he should be interested in. Yeah. No. 

And hopefully you're blessed with a great teacher. Hopefully. I don't have a teaching certificate, (oh! I could make one!) but I know my boy and have no doubt I can provide better for him than an overworked, under appreciated, under paid teacher! (Disclaimer: I love several teachers. But I'm just not rolling the dice with so many teachers overseeing my boy's childhood.)

Bonfire with his girlfriends. Because life should always be fun! 

A class for babies to learn to walk?

A baby is born. Provided with all she needs, she still desires to communicate. Momma responds to her squealing with love and nourishment. She learns that by making her need known, she will be provided with what she needs.

A year later she watches those around her walking, and desires to walk. We clap and cheer her on, and in no time she's exploring on her own two feet.

A year later she's saying words to communicate and make her needs known. We proudly write down her first words and encourage her to say more.

We read her books and sing songs, we splash in puddles and change her diapers and gently redirect when she tries to unplug the lamp or taste a penny, we prevent her from running into the road or pulling the cat's whiskers, we provide crayons and puzzles and well baby check ups and car seats. We visit the zoo,  we offer healthy foods, we keep her safe and protected. We often hope we are doing it right.

Suddenly, she's four and we as parents are led to believe we no longer have the knowledge or ability to educate our children. They must learn in a school, spending days with similarly aged people led by one adult who clearly must be better at parenting, after all, this person has a college education, and that is what you must have, right?

Why? What changes? Why do we suddenly need to bus our children off so that a stranger can tell them that they need to learn this, that and the other? We don't tell a ten month old they are smarter than their peers when they walk, we don't tell a sixteen month old they are behind, slow, they need to catch up. But go talk to a six year old who struggles to read, they are "behind" and forced reading is imposed at home in an effort to catch said child up to the average. Now take another child who has very little interest in reading and unschool, and watch a love of reading develop at age seven as they decide they want to learn this new method of  communication.

I believe we are born with a desire to learn. As parents, we can nurture this desire, or we can diminish it. We have done the public school thing with several older siblings and choose to nurture our youngest child's natural desire to learn.

Here's my grandgirl- walking and said "boat" and "utoh" over the weekend... without any classes or training! On her own schedule. Imagine that.

Building a cave

Cajer wants a cave. Yesterday we explored our land and settled on a great spot. We sat outside and drew up plans.

I think the greatest part of unschooling is that he has no idea that so much of society expects him to learn what, when, where, why and how... and he's proving that learning happens all the time but especially when he wants to. Yes, Saturday evening is a great time to learn about caves. Even five feet tall, forty mile long caves!

Adventures.

I need to get back in the swing of things. Blogging, anyway.

So. Here goes.

Hubby had training in Jacksonville and we took Cajer and the grands on an adventure. Cajer LOVES to explore!

We had a great time at the Hands On Children's Museum, chasing seagulls on the beach, exploring the zoo, breaking down on the side of the interstate... wait, no. That was not fun for us, but want to know something great? Cajer thinks it was fun. He said he had fun wrestling with Saylor, eating cookies and waving to cars. See? They are  learning to make the best of what life throws at us.